Regardless of any decision you make about your life you would make sacrifice. It all comes down to what you are willing to compromise on.
Are you willing to please people over who you are meant to be? You are unique and no one is like you. We all have a purpose in life. Are you willing to find yours and fulfill it or keep being someone other people want you to be?
Don’t spend your life living other people life. No one would live yours. We are all different and unique with our weaknesses and strengths and different level of combinations of both. That what makes us who we are.
If you are called to be the largest farmer in your town do you prefer to settle for an unhappy surgeon because your parent thinks you would make a lot of money they can bank on? Are you willing to work at a job you hate to please your parent and your spouse to avoid guilt and live with the regret over what you always want to achieve in life?
My life examples
In middle school, I wanted to be an astronaut. I read any chapter on planets, galaxies in all the physics books in our school library. I passed any physics test that were about planets. I didn’t like news and only watched it when a rocket was launched going out of space. My parents and my sibling knew how obsessed I was about that science. I wrote a kids novel about alien in a note book. My dad told me that it was not a good idea and we have more problems to solve on earth than going in the moon. On top of that, there was not astronomy program offered by the university in my origin country.
I also like to plant and graft fruit trees. I like to watch plants grow.
By the time I graduated from high school, I decided to go to agronomy school. My father said it would be too difficult for me.
My mother a nurse suggested medical school since I majored in match, physics, chemistry, and biology. My father suggested business school since he went to one himself. I don’t like to see people in pain therefore, I went to business school and study accounting and graduated with a Bachelor and Master of Science degree in management. My parents paid for the tuition. For years I felt like I went to college for my parents as I didn’t know what to do with my business degree.
When I came in the USA, my mother told me not to apply for astronomy school. By that point I lost any interest in that science. I have the nature of ending what I started. I studied in the USA and earned my MBA. Still I didn’t really know what do to with it. I couldn’t find a job and work multiple parttime at minimum wage for years. But I kept applying for jobs going to interviews until I landed my current job. I kept searching myself and finally, I decided to start my own business around my hobbies, my passions and my knowledge. My business is still in early phase and requires a lot of my attention and focus. That is the exact time my parents guilt trip me saying they won’t stay with me forever or live forever but I would have my children and my husband forever. I am 42 years old and joined the work force late due to my education. Although I work part time multiple jobs, I started at my current jobs 6 years ago. Therefore, I don’t have a retirement account build up enough yet. I don’t want to retire and continue to work to provide for my needs. I don’t want to rely on my children in retirement. I have been without job before after I was married and purchased groceries with credit card for my husband to pay bills with his paychecks. I have a goal to provide for myself since I was teenager and noticed my parents argued over money multiple times. I vowed to myself to focus on my education and find work when I graduated and not to rely on a man to support me. Financial independence and financial security are very important to me to achieve. Without my income, my husband income is not enough to support us. I don’t want to rely on my job alone as a source of income. Soon after I started to work at my current job, I decided not to have one source of income. At first, I thought I should have other part time jobs. Later, I realized that I only have 24 hours in a day. Trading my time for money limit my income. I should focus on creating different type of income avenues.
I love my parents, but it is the time for me to find myself and put my talents and learned skills to work to generate revenue.
I would miss them dearly when they go back to Africa, but I can live with that guilt over the regret for the goals I didn’t reach or gave up on, to spend time satisfying others around me.
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